是欢喜，
是期待，
是盼望，
是兴奋，
是紧张，
还是。。。
我想是害怕多一点。。。
flying towards my dreams
@ |6/25/2006 03:36:00 PM|
washed all d laundries, vaccummed d floor, mopped d floor, cleared n packed my wardrobe, folded all clothes, washed my jacket, dusted d carpet.
oh my, suddenly i sound like "maria"
thou it seems dat i've done quite alot of things today, n i'm tired too, but i still haven packed my desk.
haven get ready my practicum file,
haven iron my practicum clothes.
haven bought my practicum bag.
n i haven seen my baby today... miss him loads~ :(
flying towards my dreams
@ |6/23/2006 06:44:00 PM|
chilly wind swept past my face,
no doubt itz gonna to pour real soon.
scary lightning n thunder r sure to follow..
i miss my comforter!!
darling, where r u?
flying towards my dreams
@ |6/23/2006 10:15:00 AM|
basically the briefing was pretty dry... first half was still alright, but after d 15mins break, the "sleeping gd" came knocking at my door.. tsk tsk~
i tried my utter best to keep my eyes open, i tried n i did.
conclusion of today's briefing: d onli thing i found abit helpful is d sharing session by one of d seniors who happens to be an ex-stpian too. her tactics to deal with students r reali quite interesting... perhpas can modify n use abit..haha..
met up with my darling after d session ended.
went to JP to hv our lunch n shop ard abit to find my practicum clothings.
darling was reali sweet to accompany me, to give me comments etc, despite him nt liking shopping... reali appreciate it alot!! thks baby!!
ended up buying 3 skirts from Pepper Plus n a top from THIS FASHION.
spent quite alot... haiz..
den we left JP n headed to Causeway Point to catch a movie.
going back to d place where we watched d show dat gave baby nightmares on d fateful day reali brings back memories...
we watched "THE MAID" on 09/09/05, the day we got together, now, we've been together for more than 9mths already... time reali flies..
thruout this period of time, i've alwaz been a blissful n happy soul.
i'm reali fortunate to hv found my one n only true love :D
we decided to watch "CARS" n it was a rather nice movie. the animations are all so real, n somehow it gives u things to think at n reflect on. a meaningful show. so catch it if u hv d time.
after d movie, we went to Sakae Sushi to have our dinner.
had ala carte meal, baby ordered a chicken teriyaki bento set while i ordered a tempura bento set. the meal was very nice n filling n d salmon were damn fresh! yummy!
while waiting for our food to be served
baby's chicken teriyaki bento set
my tempura bento set
helplessly in love... :p
walked ard abit after dinner den baby sent me home.
saw a surprise in my letter box.
i received a letter from MYANMAR!!!!
i was so excited n at n same time curious at who d sender is.
initially i thought it was one of the teachers whom i met there when i went for a volunteer trip der almost 2yrs ago.
after looking thru my list when i got home, i realised it was my "little brother" who has sent me the letter!!
it has been a long time since i last heard from him..
miss him quite alot.
very happy n touched that he still remembered me, despite me nt writing him any letters this yr due to my bz workload, feel so bad abt it..
"my little brother", kyaw thu hein n i (taken almost 2yrs back) this is the onli foto we took together, thus itz real precious :)
itz always nice to know that somewhere out there in another foreign land, some one misses u, some one remembers u, n most importantly, some one cherishes the friendship that has bonded....
flying towards my dreams
@ |6/20/2006 10:42:00 PM|
so i've been a gd ger, staying at home to spend time with my family.
mum has been wanting to get a new carpet so we went to IKEA to search for it.
i dun reali frequent IKEA like my bro does, so today is one of d few times dat i've been der..
surprisingly, there r so many nice stuffz der..
thinking of revamping my room..
but my current furniture r still quite new..
she bu de throw them away thou i was reali tempted to buy lotsa stuffz..
walking thru IKEA, images run thru my mind, like wad i can put in d master bedroom, d study room, d kids' room etc etc..
yup, i suddenly hv d urge to reali do up our hse.. i meant my OWN house with my darling.. hehz.. *oopz*
flying towards my dreams
@ |6/18/2006 09:48:00 PM|
was away with baby for our rendevous getaway.. kekz..
we went for a 3D2N stay at downtown east coasta sands resort.
it was a lovely time spent! a memory that'll stay in my heart alwaz..
DAY1: 130606, TUESDAY
met up with baby at AMK b4 taking bus88 to pasir ris.
it has been a long time since we boarded a bus for a long journey.
usually, i dun like taking long-distance bus rides coz at d end of d day, i'll probably juz end up puking..
but itz alwaz different travelling with baby.. :)
on the bus
when we reached pasir ris interchange, we went to white sands to get baby's ARGENTINA slippers n some cheese balls n hotdogs to curb our teeny weeny bit of hunger. itz pretty nice n tasty mainly bcoz baby fed me.. lolz
den we took bus 354 to downtown east n went to collect our keys.
we were given a second floor room at BLK F, room number 1631.
the room is rather spacious, with 2single beds, a tv, refrigerator n xbox console. the toilet is nt bad too, juz a pity they dun hv bath-tubs..haha
we washed up, put our stuffz, rested a while b4 heading out for a meal.
whilst baby is wating for me to get ready, he's "bz" surfing away in his wow..hee
here's me looking fresh n smelling nice after a gd bath
us in our 3rd set of couple wear: ARGENTINA tshirt
our ARGENTINA slippers :)
we went to the food court to have our dinner.
baby had economy rice while i had fried kway tiao
after dinner we went to cheers to buy some food n drinks.
n this was when i made baby angry... i feel so bad abt it!
went back to our room after that n had some small talks to clear up d "misunderstanding". i know my mistake now n i shall promise nt to make d same mistake again..
watched telly abit, baby surfed the net..
den itz lights-off n surprise time.. :p
DAY2: 140606 WEDNESDAY
had actually planned to go wild wild wet, but dark clouds seemed to be hovering in the sky, so in d end, we gave up on d idea.
baby took a nap while i watched telly coz he's tired.. :p
after dat, we bathed n headed out for lunch.
took some fotos b4 we headed out for lunch :)
we had KFC for lunch today, all bcoz i wanted to eat cheese fries.
baby is so sweet juz to accomodate my taste.. :D
fish ole meal for baby n 2pcs chicken meal for me.
after finishing a satisfying lunch, we headed to the arcade.
it has been a long time since i last stepped into one.
thot i kinda surpass d age to enter arcade.
surprisingly, it was still so fun, juz like how i remembered it to be.
baby bought us a TAPZ card so dat we can play the games.
it was such a gr8 feeling playing arcade games with baby.
he taught me hw to play a certain type of machine game, which i lost to him ultimately. lost to him in daytona too. racing game i oso lose. foto hunt i oso lose. basically i cant reali recall if i won in any games.. hahaz.. itz nt i lousy, itz juz dat my baby is too strong liao.. hehez.
anyway, i sure had fun! thks baby!
we decided to da-bao some desserts back coz we were still quite full frm d late lunch. bought grass jelly with longans... super sweet!
went to poh kim to buy some vcds to watch on baby's laptop.
bought two movies: A Chinese Tall Story 情天大圣 n 2 Become 1 天生一对 . was kinda sway coz there was sth wrong with one of d disc of 2 Become 1, so went back to poh kim to exchange. we at least made 3trips down b4 settling on a gd one dat can b played. brought back some dinner on the way. had herbal chicken n fried rice, which r both pretty tasty.
then it was a movie marathon night for us.. followed by.....
DAY3: 160606 THURSDAY
today is the last day of our stay in d chalet.
check out time is 10.30am
d reception even called to remind us of the check out time.
how thoughtful of them.
thus i woke up earlier to pack all our stuffz b4 waking baby up.
seeing him slp so soundly made it so unbearable to wake him up.
but nevertheless, i still hv to wake him up.
after snuggling for a while we had our bath n quickly packed our stuffz to head out. luckily we made it in time for d check out time, else we'll hv to pay a penalty of one day's fee.
we took bus 354 back to pasir ris n went to white sands again to shop for father's day present for baby's dad.
walked thru a few stores before settling to get his dad a bag.
den itz off to take bus88 back to AMK again.
had quite a terrible ride back coz half d time, d uncle was jerking the bus, thus making me nauseous. swallowed down countless sour plums, luckily still managed to hold it. we alighted at some bus stop near baby's place to da-bao our lunch.
decided to eat sth light since i wasnt feeling too good.
baby has mee sua soup while i had kway tiao soup.
itz reali those type of old school soup based noodles, cheap n tasty! :)
went over to baby's hse to give tuition to his two cousins.
stayed over for a night at baby's place.
watched the match between ENGLAND vs TRINIDAD & TOBAGO together.
thou we were kinda supporting the opposite teams, but still it was nice watching soccer with a loved one.
turned in after d match ended, thou i very much wanted to watch d PARAGUAY vs SWEDEN match, but i saw how red baby's eyes were, we decided to hit the bed.
time alwaz flies when one is having a good time with a loved one.
i truely enjoyed myself alot for these past four days.
cuddling, snuggling, spending each n every moment with each other for d past four days suddenly made me feel so lost n uneasy without baby by my side now.
i miss my baby!
cant wait for our next getaway... but when will it be??
flying towards my dreams
@ |6/17/2006 08:08:00 PM|
a shock from SUPERBAND result show again!!
JUZ-B is eliminated!!!!
i always thot dat this grp of malay guys sing quite well..
despite being non-chinese, they can still sing much betta den some other chinese.
this is sth commendable!
itz a pity they got eliminated..
JUZ-B, u'll be missed!
flying towards my dreams
@ |6/13/2006 12:07:00 AM|
it was good to c old frenz again once in a while, to catch up, to reminisce abt the past.
time flies, it has been 10yrs since we graduated from primary school. kangling has already graduated from uni n will proceed on to work in one of d big4 company, PWC.
kinda envious of her coz can find a job so fast after graduation, somemore the starting pay is nt bad oso..
anyway, we went for ktv n had an enjoyable time.
she's one of the best ktv companion of mine.
she's a good company n we alwaz seemed not to be able to finish singing all the songs dat we dedicated..hahaz..
nevertheless, it was a nice session.
one thing to comment abt, kbox food now taste much nicer than b4. u can compare n see here.
the last time we went together, the food was horrendous!
this time round, the breaded fish with ham n rice taste much more nicer the the mixed fried set! both of us swept up our food in no time.. lolz!
the yummy breaded fish set
comparing the last time we met up n now, have we changed?
much as i've had a gd time, i miss my baby!!
he shld be struggling hard with his 1.3 at expo now..
jiayou baby!! i'll be cheering for u here!!! :)
flying towards my dreams
@ |6/12/2006 04:40:00 PM|
had tuitions for the whole day, as usual.
only consolement was i get to spend some time with my baby.
itz his last paper tmr.
i know he's feeling stressed.
but i feel rather helpless.
there's like nothing much i can do, except to stand by him.
hang on, dear!
i hv absolute faith in u! u can do it de!
feeling abit gloomy now coz i can get to watch the matches dat r on now coz i dun hv scv n ch5 dun do live telecast..
super sadz!!
dun know y ch5 dun do live telecast for the whole WC.
i mean it'll only boost their ratings coz many ppl will cfm be watching it de ma..
haiz..
oh yar, kangling jio me for ktv tmr..
guess dat's d only thing i can look forward to.
been quite a while since i last saw her too..
but overall, nothing beats the excitement of d coming tues-fri.
i simply can't wait!! :p
hopefully there wun be hiccups on the way..:)
i love u baby!!!
jiayou for ur 1.3!!
*mUackzzzzz*
oh man, did i juz mentioned in the opening that ive nth to blog abt..
guess i'm juz crapping..
dun mind me pls..
i shall turn in early tonight..
it has been a tiring day.. u know y?
haha.. dun tell u... *blehz*
flying towards my dreams
@ |6/11/2006 11:10:00 PM|
n it gets me feeling all tired again.
zhezhe n xuanxuan will be going home today, hence b4 they go hm, i brought them for their favourite activity... swimming!!
yup, brought them to cck swimming complex to play..
they were both so happy!
their energy level really amazed me.
despite being in d water for more than 5hrs, they can still jump n run abt like nobody's biz... running after them really kills... lolz
nevertheless, so long they r both happy, i'm happy. :)
zhezhe n xuanxuan
xuan n zhe again :)
naughty xuan
look at how happy she is :)
xuan playing on d water slides
xuan on the kiddie play
"fatty" zhe
happy zhe
zhe playing on d water slides
zhe playing with d water shooter
zhe on kiddie ride
the kids
to add on, i saw a very cute little ger at d pool to.
she's basically an "all-rounder"
n she got such big n beautiful eyes.
n her eyelashes r soooooooo long!
she's really cute!!
cute isn't she?
feel like going up to her to pinch her cheeks :D
flying towards my dreams
@ |6/10/2006 09:28:00 PM|
reason is my fav cousins came to spore.
n i've been out with them, bringing dem ard to play n eat.
they came w/o their parents this time, thus making it a more challenging job as one of dem is quite "sticky" to her mum.
nevertheless, i feel so happy seeing them.
thou itz tiring n it causes backaches etc, all is worth is juz for them :)
flying towards my dreams
@ |6/10/2006 10:15:00 AM|
9posts in all for a day!
this juz goes to show how bored i am...!!
flying towards my dreams
@ |6/07/2006 04:02:00 PM|Your Five Variable Love Profile 
Propensity for Monogamy:
Your propensity for monogamy is high.
You find it easy to be devoted and loyal to one person.
And in return, you expect the same from who you love.
Any sign of straying, and you'll end things.
Experience Level:
Your experience level is high.
You've loved, lost, and loved again.
You have had a wide range of love experiences.
And when the real thing comes along, you know it!
Dominance:
Your dominance is low.
This doesn't mean you're a doormat, just balanced.
You know a relationship is not about getting your way.
And you love to give your sweetie a lot of freedom.
Cynicism:
Your cynicism is low.
You are an eternal optimist when it comes to love and romance.
No matter how many times you've been hurt - you're never bitter.
You believe in one true love, your perfect soulmate.
And if you haven't found true love yet, you know you will soon.
Independence:
Your independence is low.
This doesn't mean you're dependent in relationships..
It does mean that you don't have any problem sharing your life.
In your opinion, the best part of being in love is being together.
flying towards my dreams
@ |6/07/2006 04:00:00 PM|You're a Romantic Kisser 
For you, kissing is all about feeling the romance
You love to kiss under the stars or by the sea
The perfect kiss involves the perfect mood
It's pretty common for kisses to sweep you off your feet
flying towards my dreams
@ |6/07/2006 03:53:00 PM|
i guess its quite true :)Your Ideal Relationship is Serious Dating 
You're not ready to go walking down the aisle.
But you may be ready in a couple of years.
You prefer to date one on one, with a commitment.
And while chemistry is important, so is compatibility.
flying towards my dreams
@ |6/07/2006 03:46:00 PM|Your Love Style is Agape 
You are a caring, kind, and selfless partner.
Unsurprisingly, your love style is the most rare.
You are willing to sacrfice your world for your sweetie.
Except it doesn't really feel like sacrifice to you.
For you, nothing feels better than giving to the one you love.
flying towards my dreams
@ |6/07/2006 03:33:00 PM|You Are More Mild Than Wild 
You're confident, and you really aren't concerned with how "hot" you are.
Other people's ideas of what's sexy don't concern you. And this is exactly what makes you attractive.
flying towards my dreams
@ |6/07/2006 03:27:00 PM|
french name.
why does it sounds so much like a guy's name?? *ponders*Your French Name is: 
italian nameYour Italian Name Is... 
mexican name
sounds like some red indians..lolzYour Mexican Name Is... 
irish name
picture looks like someone from mr man series :pYour Irish Name Is... 
japanese nameYour Japanese Name Is... 
hawaiian nameYour Hawaiian Name is: 
flying towards my dreams
@ |6/07/2006 03:24:00 PM|Your Scholastic Strength Is Deep Thinking 
You aren't afraid to delve head first into a difficult subject, with mastery as your goal.
You are talented at adapting, motivating others, managing resources, and analyzing risk.
You should major in:
Philosophy
Music
Theology
Art
History
Foreign language
flying towards my dreams
@ |6/07/2006 03:23:00 PM|
this is the exact feeling i had when i received my results yesterday.
suddenly i realised, i'm neither here nor there.
i thought the decision i made 3yrs ago is a good one, n my future has been paved out.
indeed, i do have a job waiting for me upon graduation, but now i wonder how far can it lead me? i seriously hold my reservations...
choosing NIE over SIM 3yrs ago was mainly due to finance problems.
i did not want to burden my family with the high course fees.
i did not want to get a degree that is probably not very recognised.
did i make a right choice/decision then?
i thought i did.
but, reality bites.
i should have gone ahead with SIM.
if only... i would have already graduated by now, with the degree safe in my hands.
but now,i'm still stuck in NIE.
i don't have much of an option now, which is fearing me.
if i were to leave the education line one day, which i think i most probably would, i'll have nothing else to fall back on.
this thought is getting more n more scary.
what should i do?
seriously, i think i'm quite a failure.
i don't know what exactly is it that i want in life.
i have not much of a goal/dream.
i'm actually quite contented with just passing each day smoothly.
but it'll be really hard to gain a stand in society with a mentality like this.
everything, everywhere, people are talking about qualifications.
you'll just bascially be a nothing if you do not have a degree.
i really dislike this type of crossroads alot!
because many a times, you think you have made the correct decision, but yet, few years down the road, you'll realise that it is not the best option.
by then, all regrets will be too late.
time has left you behind.
this is perhaps a real wake up call for me.
i'm no longer young.
i've wasted more than enough time.
much as i want to pursue BA in education, but it seems like it'll not be much worth afterall as this degree is only recognised by MOE.
going out to the society with it will prove nothing.
you'll still be a nobody.
i feel so lost!
really have no idea what is the next step i should do.
had a good talk with baby last night and that's when i realised that he's so so so matured in his thinking.
compared to him, i really feel useless!
he knows what he wants in life.
he knows which direction he is heading to.
he has plans for his future.
he has a goal, a dream.
whereas.... i think i have nothing.
i know its not going to work things out drowning in self pity.
actions have to be carried out.
the talk with baby made me wake up.
its time i do something about my future.
i actually have a dream, to set up my own student care centre/ tuition centre.
the naive me thought that all could be worked out so long i managed to save enough money during my 5yrs bond with MOE, and afterwhich i can set up my own business.
but, in reality, its not going to be so easy.
perhaps i should really consider SIM again.
and this time round, i guess i can afford to pay for my own school fees.
i can scrimp and save for the sake of it,
but at the end of the day, the important thing is which course should i take?
checked out some part time courses and realised most of them needed background of relevant diplomas and working experience.
i'm starting to wonder where can this diploma in education that i have from NIE take me?
am i really destined to get stuck in the teaching world forever??
i hope i can seek for an answer soon...
time is seriously running out...
please let me find my direction soon..
flying towards my dreams
@ |6/07/2006 12:43:00 PM|
(adapted from a fellow blogger's blog)
"On my wedding day, I carried my wife in my arms.
The bridal car stopped in front of our one-room flat.
My buddies insisted that I carry her out of the car in my arms.
So I carried her into our home.
She was then plump and shy.
I was a strong and happy bridegroom.
This was the scene of ten years ago.
The following days were as simple as a cup of pure water:
we had a kid,I went into business and tried to make more money.
When the assets were steadily increasing, the affections between us seemed to ebb.
She was a civil servant.
Every morning we left home together and got home almost at the same time.
Our kid was studying in a boarding school.
Our marriage life seemed to be enviably happy.
But the calm life was more likely to be affected by unpredictable changes.
Dew came into my life.
It was a sunny day.
I stood on a spacious balcony.
Dew hugged me from behind.
My heart once again was immersed in her stream of love.
This was the apartment I bought for her.
Dew said, You are the kind of man who best draws girls eyeballs.
Her words suddenly reminded me of my wife.
When we just married, my wife said, Men like you, once successful, will be very attractive to girls.
Thinking of this, I became somewhat hesitant.
I knew I had betrayed mywife.
But I couldn't help doing so.
I moved Dew's hands aside and said, You go to select some furniture,ok?
I ve got something to do in the company.
Obviously she was unhappy, because I had promised her to go and see with her.
At the moment, the idea of divorce became clearer in my mind although it used to be something impossible to me.
However, I found it rather difficult to tell my wife about it.
No matter how mildly I mentioned it to her, she would be deeply hurt.
Honestly,she was a good wife.
Every evening she was busy preparing dinner.
I was sitting in front of the TV.
The dinner was ready soon.
Then we watched TV together.
Or, I was lounging before the computer, visualizing Dew's body.
This was the means of my entertainment.
One day I said to her in a slight joking way, suppose we divorce, what will you do?
She stared at me for a few seconds without a word.
Apparently she believed that divorce was something too far away from her.
I couldn't imagine how she would react once she got to know I was serious.
When my wife went to my office, Dew had just stepped out.
Almost all the staff looked at my wife with a sympathetic eye and tried to hide something while talking to her.
She seemed to have gotten some hint.
She gently smiled at my subordinates.
But I read some hurt in her eyes.
Once again, Dew said to me, He Ning, divorce her, ok?
Then we'll live together.
I nodded.
I knew I could not hesitate any more.
When my wife served the last dish, I held her hand.
I've got something to tell you, I said.
She sat down and ate quietly.
Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.
Suddenly I didn't know how to open my mouth.
But I had to let her know what I was thinking.
I want to divorce.
I raised a serious topic calmly.
She didn't seem to be much annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why?
I'm serious.
I avoided her question.
This so-called answer turned her angry.
She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man!
At that night, we didn t talk to each other.
She was weeping.
I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage.
But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer, because my heart had gone to Dew.
With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company.
She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces.
I felt a pain in my heart.
The woman who had been living ten years with me would become a stranger one day.
But I could not take back what I had said.
Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see.
To me her cry was actually a kind of release.
The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer.
A late night, I came back home after entertaining my clients.
I saw her writing something at the table.
I fell asleep fast.
When I woke up, I found she was still there.
I turned over and was asleep again.
She brought up her divorce conditions:
she didn't want anything from me,but I was supposed to give her one month's time before divorce, and in the month's time we must live as normal life as possible.
Her reason was simple:
our son would finish his summer vacation a month later and asked me,
He Ning, do you still remember how I entered our bridal room on the wedding day?
This question suddenly brought back all those wonderful memories to me.
I nodded and said, I remember .
You carried me in your arms , she continued, so, I have a requirement, that is, you carry me out in yourarms on the day when we divorce.
From now to the end of this month, you must carry me out from the bedroom to the door every morning.
I accepted with a smile.
I knew she missed those sweet days and wished to end her marriage with a romantic form.
I told Dew about my wife s divorce conditions.
She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd.
No matter what tricks she does, she has to face the result of divorce, she said scornfully.
Her words more or less made me feel uncomfortable.
My wife and I hadn't had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed.
We even treated each other as a stranger.
So when I carried her out for the first day, we both appeared clumsy.
Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mummy in his arms.
His words brought me a sense of pain.
From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms.
She closed her eyesand said softly, Let us start from today, don t tell our son.
I nodded,feeling somewhat upset.
I put her down outside the door.
She went to wait for bus, I drove to office.
On the second day, both of us acted much more easily.
She leaned on mychest.
We were so close that I could smell the fragrance of her blouse.
I realized that I hadn t looked at this intimate woman carefully for along time.
I found she was not young any more.
There were some fine wrinkles on her face.
On the third day, she whispered to me, The outside garden is being demolished.
Be careful when you pass there.
On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I seemed to feel that we werestill an intimate couple and I was holding my sweetheart in my arms.
The visualization of Dew became vaguer.
On the fifth and sixth day, she kept reminding me something, such as,where she put the ironed shirts, I should be careful while cooking, etc.
I nodded.
The sense of intimacy was even stronger.
I didn't tell Dew about this.
I felt it was easier to carry her.
Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.
I said to her, It seems not difficult to carry you now.
She was picking her dresses.
I was waiting to carry her out.
She tried quite a few but could not find a suitable one.
Then she sighed, All my dresses have grown fatter.
I smiled.
But I suddenly realized that it was because she was thinner that I could carry her more easily, not becauseI was stronger.
I knew she had buried all the bitterness in her heart.
Again, I felt a sense of pain.
Subconsciously I reached out a hand to touch her head.
Our son came in at the moment.
Dad, it s time to carry mum out.
He said.To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had been an essential part of his life.
She gestured our son to come closer and hugged him tightly.
I turned my face because I was afraid I would change my mind at the last minute.
I held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom,through the sitting room, to the hallway.
Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally.
I held her body tightly, as if we came back to our wedding day.
But her much lighter weight made me sad.
On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step.
Our son had gone to school.
She said, Actually I hope you will hold me in your arms until we are old.
I held her tightly and said, Both you and I didn't notice that our life was lack of such intimacy.
I jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door.
I was afraid any delay would make me change my decision.
I walked upstairs.
Dew opened the door.
I said to her, Sorry, Dew, I won't divorce.
I'm serious.
She looked at me, astonished.
The she touched my forehead. You got no fever. She said.
I moved her hand off my head.
Sorry, Dew, I said, I can only say sorry to you, I won t divorce.
My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn t value the details of life, not because we didn t love each other any more.
Now I understand that since I carried her into the home, she gave birth to our child, I am supposed to hold her until I am old.
So I have to say sorry to you.
Dew seemed to suddenly wake up.
She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears.
I walked downstairs and drove to the office.
When I passed the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet for my wife which was her favorite.
The salesgirl asked me to write the greeting words on the card.
I smiled and wrote,
I'll carry you out every morning until we are old.''
flying towards my dreams
@ |6/07/2006 11:07:00 AM|
i'm happy abt the improvements, yet disappointed coz i din manage to meet my target. or rather shld say i onli managed to acheive half of my target, indeed no more Cs appeared after much hard work but still itz a 0.26marks distance away from my targetted GPA score.
i could hv done betta.. i feel~
nevertheless, it has become hard concrete fact.
(mind ponders....)
its a tiring race to catch up with the others..
i've kept running, but u guys r speeding up..
when will i ever catch up with u all?
i was never an excellent student, but i do put in efforts n hard work for my studies.
i'm not born talented but i do try hard....
can u all slow down ur pace n wait for me?
i seriously doubt so... tsk tsk
i guess i hv to work even harder for d nxt year..
itz gonna get tough, having to balance school, tuitions, practicum, family, frenz n personal time.
i'm NO iron lady so pls cheer on for me, will u?
flying towards my dreams
@ |6/06/2006 05:00:00 PM|
there is a saying that this is the sign of EVIL.
so is today supposed to be a BAD day?
rumour has it dat if u dialled triple 6 on ur phone once d clock strucks 12midnight on 06/06/06, it'll connect u to HELL.
i wonder how true izzit n if anyone tried it?
i dun know coz i'm oredi in lala-land at that time.. lolz
nevertheless, i'm not one who's so superstitious..
to me, 06/06/06 is juz another ordinary day..
i wana catch the show "THE OMEN" which opens today..
itz supposed to have sth to do wih the significance of 06/06/06, the triple 6s.
any interested goers? :)
flying towards my dreams
@ |6/06/2006 12:30:00 PM|
the long awaited day has finally come.
3rd June 2006, the day dat marks the 20th anniversary of my sec sch - BBSS
stepping back into the familiar grounds really brings back wonderful old memories. d canteen still look the same. i wonder if that mee-goreng stall is still there.din really managed to locate d stall coz i forgot which stall number it used to be liao.. :p
dun know y, but the pond area looked exceptionally beautiful too.. :)
"toured" round d school, went back to my old classroom, itz no longer 4e2 now, itz nw d classroom of 1n2.. the palce dat left gd memories. recollections of our seating arrangement flowed back into our mind n dat was when Grace n I started "arguing" where we used to sit.. I'm pretty certain dat i sat in the 3rd row, 2nd seat. yup!
so much has changed but we're still determine to take a photo in our old classroom.. hahazz..
Me n Chongxin aka Shawn :)
look! dat's our school's philosophy, mission, creed etc behind us... gr8 isn't it?
saw a couple of teachers like Ms Jayanthi, my sec1&2 Geography teacher (now known as Mdm Jayanthi), Mr Latif, my sec4 literature teacher, Mrs Rosie Lau, my sec3&4 Chemistry teacher, who's now the VP of d school... so cool!!! Mr Samuie, my sec1&2 literature teacher, Mrs Quek, my sec2 science teacher, Mr Chia, a fellow D&T teacher who has now retired, Mr Quek, my sec3&4 physics teacher n of coz not forgetting my "daddy" teacher, Mr Loo!! had some really nice talks with Mr Latif n Mrs Lau... seeing their success in the education line kinda motivates me on..
Me, Mr Latif, Grace
me n my "daddy" teacher, Mr Loo
i cant say dat the dinner served was perfect, but it was an enjoyable nite catching up with old frenz whom i've nt seen since graduation... 6yrs! most ppl did change abit here n der... looking ard us, seeing lotsa young faces, itz a bitter reality! we're really getting old... but upon seeing some juniors who graduate one yr ltr den us, it suddenly made us feel young again coz in terms of dressing n etiquette, they look more "chao-lao", n some even came with kids!! OMG!!!
nevertheless, it was a bz nite as we hopped ard tables to talk n take photos..
so let's juz let the photos do the talking for now...
ex-2eH classmates: Me, KimYan, Diana, Grace
somemore ex-2eH classmates: Me, Beeling, Shiqi
yet another ex-2eH classmate: Me n Jacelyn
ex-2eH classmate: Me n HweeLing
ex-2eH classmate: Z.Kailing n Me
ex-2eH classmate: Meijin n Me
the 4e2 table
Me n Ndee
Grace n Me
more frenz n classmates!!!
Me,Peiyan, Chongxin, Chisong
me, Chongxin,Chisong
Chisong n Me
YongTong, Yuni, Grace, Me, Chie Hui
with my 2 korkors, Zuoqiang n Jeremy :)
the whole occassion ended with a grand finale of singing a birthday song for BBSS..
afterwhich a dance party continued but i took my leave den..
juz felt dat such a "clubbing" ending somehow doesnt fit d atmosphere..
and being a non-clubber, der's nt much pt dat i stay on.. moreover itz getting late..
i had a gr8 time, did u?
ciaoz BBSS!
cya again when u're nicely built up once again..
farewell~
flying towards my dreams
@ |6/03/2006 11:59:00 PM|