no,no.. the kids in both my classes were very well behaved today so i hv no complaints abt them.
wad made my blood boils is to find that someone actually rumpaged thru my things on my desk after i left school yday!! n itz even more angry to find that it is actually one of ur trainee colleagues!! wtf!!! where's the slightest sense of courtesty n respect huh?! teacher nv teach u in school b4 ah? ur parents nv teach u ah?
i would nt hv noticed it n found out if nt for her carelessness to leave my key hanging at my cupboard!
i was super duper sure that i had locked my cupboard n put the key into my marker box which i usually leave on my desk.
but this morning when i reached sch n went up to my office, i was abit caught by surprise to see some of the arrangments of the things i put on my desk placed in the wrong positions...
i still did not suspect much, n juz speculated that maybe some kids found the wrong table n accidentally shifted my stuffs.
i thot that was the end of the story until i came back from my p2 class.
i saw HER (the no courtesy n no respect trainee colleague) folding some papers which looked exactly like what i was doing with my p2 kids for my NIE assignment.
i was like WTF!!!
initially i thot, cant b so coincidence we hv the same ideas one ma.. until i overheard HER telling another trainee beside her " how come i cant fold it like the one i saw juz nw huh? the one i saw can fold one leh"
that was when i'm 99% sure that she was the one who tampered with my cupboard n keys.
i was actually doing some hands on activity with my kids n i kept the work all locked up in my cupboard so there is NO possibility that anyone can find it unless they open my cupboard, u get what i mean?!?
i was so furious man!!
n mind u, this is nt the first time i "caught" her behaving suspiciously ard my table.
there was once when i came back from relief classes n i found her standing at my table n she seemed to b looking for something. perhaps it might b quite normal if she wants to borrow a pencil or sth but it seemed that she juz had a guilty conscience as when i pushed in the door to my room, it gave her a shock n she dropped the things that she was holding in her hands all over my table, while stuttering to say... "eeeerrr... i..i...i want to borrow stapler from u"
she thinks i'ma 3yr old kid lor.. why would she purposly walk over to my side juz to borrow a pathetic stapler!?
apparently she seemed to b up to something at my desk but since i did nt find anything missing, i did nt pursue the matter.
there was this other time that i went back to the office even after i signed out from sch coz i forget to bring my wallet home.
when i left the office, she was all alone left in the whole office.
i think she did not expect that i would turn back to the office after i left so when i went back, again i saw her at my desk, fumbling with my stuffs.
i asked her wad was she doing at my desk n she quickly say she want to borrow some outdated wksts from me.
i was like WTH!! who gave u the permission to touch my things?! wan to borrow from me why nv borrow when i was in the office, why muz wait until i go home then sneakily go find my practicum file n tk on ur own? this is as good as stealing lor!!!
but since i did nt catch her red-handed, i could do nothing.
time n again, i forgave her, but this time round its way too much!!
i dun mind her stealing my ideas for lessons everytime during normal lessons, but why muz she stoop to such underhand resorts? i would hv gladly shared with her the idea of how to fold that paper if only she knows the courtesy of asking!!
i cannot believe that such an action is coming from a teacher-to-be, a chinese-teacher-to-be!!
how to stand as a role model to the students when u urself is nt a righteous person!!!
i seriously despise her!!!
really cant imagine if we were to continue to b colleagues the next time.
from today onwards, i'm bringing my key home, away from her prying hands n eyes...
now i understand why she always stay in school until school closes at 7pm when she has nth to do at all.... so she has further plans to carry out after all of us left for home... how cunning can that be!!!
i do hope SHE gets to see this post!!!
hey you!!! i'm watching you.. try ur dirty tricks again n i'll make sure u fall!!!
flying towards my dreams
@ |4/25/2007 11:09:00 PM|
thou i know that many of my frenz out there have most probably completed all observations, but i'm still thankful that i've cleared 7 CT observations, 2 SUP observations n 1 SCM observation.
my SUP came for the 2nd time on tues.
the observation was with my p5 class n we're doing compo teaching.
all that was thot to b well has to b destructed by the few "villians" in the class.
n i know their utlimate objective is to make sure i meet my doom.
no joke abt it, but kids nowadays r bloody smart!!
i knew they wld b up to some nonsense, but i nv thot it'll b that bad.
anyway, thou i still managed to subdue them n my SUP said i hv gd classroom mgt, i was still pretty upset by the whole issue.
thou their nonsense did nt affect my grade but somehow, i feel really sad!!
after the lesson, i could already feel the tears building up from within, they circled ard the rims of my eyes, but i disallowed them to fall out, at least nt in front of my SUP.
i tried to control my feelings n i was pretty amazed i cld still hold back for so long, until i went to talk to my CTs b4 my p2 class started in the afternoon...
that was my breaking pt...
b4 i went in, i told myself, no!! u hv to b strong n u cannot cry!!!
but..... my emotional self failed my rational self..
while i talked to my p5 CT abt the class, tears juz flowed uncontrollably...
somehow, i felt that i hv failed in my job, thou my CT told me that the SUP went to talk to her n he has very postive feedbacks on me, n how much he likes my lesson n so on...
but those were nt the words he said to me...
in fact, it was the total opp..
he made me feel that i was really v v v v lousy, n i'm nt fit to b a teacher...
but somehow, those were nt the words he told my CT... for that instance, i was at a loss as to whom to believe in.. all i know was that my heart was really wrenched in pain...
i thot all will b well after talking to my p5 CT, but i was wrong..
somehow i broke down even worse in front of my p2 CT n i guessed i gave the other teachers a shock... my p2 CT is someone whom one can talk v comfortably to, juz like confiding in a big sister... the moment i saw the look of concern on her face when she saw my eyes swollen-runny nose-tear-stricken face, i could nt control my tears again...
somehow, i'm really lousy at controlling my emotional self...
after recounting the story to my p2 CT as well as my ex CT n another teacher, i somehow felt more relieved.. their consoling words n reassurance made me feel much better.
perhaps i'm really a person w/o much confidence..
i know that i'll always put in my best efforts when doing anyth, but somehow, i'm always scared that it does nt reciprocrate to a gd result..
a good cry really relieves all the anxiety that has built up in me since the start of practicum...
i'm now all ready for another round of battle!!!!
n that explains how much i enjoyed my lesson with my p2 today.
i had an observation n i was supposed to b conducting a grp work..
i let my kids played an IQ game n i can see that they really enjoyed it alot alot...
i'm glad to at least see some of my hard work n efforts paying off.. at least to those who can appreciate it...
i'll not give up... irregardless of wad setbacks i might face n i hope i can live up to my words... :)
flying towards my dreams
@ |4/19/2007 09:03:00 PM|
we dun hv to do anything special or wad, juz seeing each other n spending time cuddling, talking, doing work is already pure bliss...
was over at baby's hse on early sat mornin, woke him up n we went out ard aftern..
went to amk hub again, to get baby's cousin's bday present, to make specs for baby, to hv lunch n to do work..
we din go FF this wkend coz we were too tired le... hehez..
got bi's cousin n personalised hp strap, baby managed to get his specs done at Koolooks n we headed for lunch at mac, where we settled down to do our work til 5pm, b4 baby needs to head for sch.
i realised that i'm more efficient at work out of home.
juz abt 3hrs' time spent in mac, i managed to get my weekly plan n all 5days' of daily lesson plan out for my p5 class... that's a pretty gd acheivement for me... hehez :p
after we left mac, i accompained baby to sch n accompanied him to hv his dinner b4 his lesson starts n afterwhich, i went to meet my parents at marsiling...
we went to woodlands to hv our dinner as well as to do some shopping.
mum was the one who wanted to get her working shoes but it ended up that i seemed to b the one who spent the most... oops!!
i got 3tops n 2 pairs of shoes.. n that resulted in a GREAT damage in my pocket...
NO MORE SHOPPING for me this month!!!!
yes!! i'll try to stick with this...
went home after a tired day... watched some tv n chatted with baby on the phone b4 i slept..
weekends r juz so wonderful, with ur presence :)
flying towards my dreams
@ |4/15/2007 11:01:00 AM|
my sweet darling came over again early in the morning yday to buy me breakfast, to cuddle me n to send me to school. really very touched eveytime he does this coz he'll really hv to wake up super duper early to come over all the way frm amk... thanks hubby!! love u lots!! *wiNkz*
today's a rather tiring n bz day.. in fact all thurs r siong days coz i hv 6 consecutive periods w/o any breaks n i hv to rush ard like a mad woman...
today, i tried a new approach in handling both my p5 n p2 kids n the response was quite gd..
the learning atmosphere in the classroom was v fun n interactive.. that's a pretty gd start!! *pats myself on the back*
but one thing i realised is, DO NOT plan grp activities n games for both classes consecutively.. u'll end up like me with a really bad n scratchy throat.. think my throat is going to fail me v soon, thou i hope it'll last til the end of practicum... *prayz*
oh well, seems like weekend is approaching again..
i'll hv another CT observation tmr , a SCM observation on Mon n the final SUP observation on tues all for my p5 class... "children children, pls behave urself yea.."
things r getting more n more stressful now that SA1 is approaching... juz hope i can last til the end... wish me luck yea... ;)
itz time for lesson plans again...
will try to be back soon.. :)
flying towards my dreams
@ |4/12/2007 08:53:00 PM|
seldom do i get the chance to meet him for 2 consecutive days ever since i started my practicum...
our sat was a very fulfilling one.
we headed over to Fitness First (FF) in the late morning for our workout.
it was my first time going to the outlet @ AMK hub.
i din went to any of the classes yet, juz went there to run the threadmill.
ran 2.4km in 19.59mins.
perhaps itz nth fantastic, but to me, it's a gd start since i haven been exercising since i left JC, which is like a gd 7yrs... Gawd~ :p
after our workout, we went to hv lunch @ Ajisen Ramen @ J8.
i've nv eaten at Ajisen b4 so it was a nice try.
i had vegetable ramen while baby had chicken teriyaki dry ramen.
basically it tasted quite well, the vveg ramen has the sweet corns n mushrooms i like, but somehow baby's chicken teriyaki dry ramen tastes better, thou itz more salty.. heh
after a gd lunch, itz time to head for the movies!! *yeahz*
caught "Meet the Robinsons" at J8 GV, together with our fav cheese nachos!!! *yummiliciouz*
itz a nice show on the whole n somehow it made me wanna hv a feel of the time machine, to see what my past n future is like... but then again, it might nt b a gd idea after all... oh well~
we headed to the library after the movies to get some studying done for baby, n LESSON PLANS for me.. yes!! i hv to do LESSON PLANS on a DATE with my baby!!! that's how pathetic it is~
but it still beats having to face all the shit alone. having baby with me whilst i wreck my brains for ideas is the greatest strength to push me on... thanks baby!! *huGz*
we went back to AMK hub to hv dinner, with our minds fixed on trying either the Soup Restaurant or Dian Xiao Er... BUT.... the queues for these two restaurants were bloody LONG!!!!!!! my god... where did all those ppl appear from?????
so we had no choice but to find somewhere else to eat when baby suggested to go the Ah Mei Restaurant... itz an open space eatery selling Nasi Brayani n Pratas...
baby had Chicken Brayani while i had Cheese Prata n Mushroom n Onion Prata.. n of coz, Milo Dinosaur for the both of us...
but sad to say, the milo dinosaur n cheese prata were nt up to standard... :(
headed back to baby's place after some shopping @ NTUC, b4 baby drove me home.
today (sun) was an equally gd day.
i woke up early in the morning to get some lesson plans done b4 driving over to baby's place to give his cousins tuition.
yes!!! i drove today... yipEe~
it juz feels so nice to be able to drive on the roads... heh
tomorrow's baby's mum's bday so we went to celebrate with her today.
we booked a table at J8 翡翠小厨 for dinner.
it was an enjoyable dinner with baby's family...
da bao-ed some crystal jade bakery's bread for tmr's breakfast b4 gg to AMK central with baby to find my sis's stuffs, as well as to AMK hub's NTUC to get cheap printing papers...lolz
i managed to get a new top from Pepper Plus. thank you baby for allowing me to buy :)
i had a gd day with my darling, but i'm still greedy for more time spent together with him... heez!
flying towards my dreams
@ |4/08/2007 11:02:00 PM|
my mood was totally affected after the scolding session of my p2 boy.
it juz feel saddening to c that a student will purposely misbehave in ur class, trying to test ur limits, trying his luck to c how far he can go, purposely to disrupt the class after so much efforts to plan an interesting lesson for them.
somehow i dunno how to put into words my feelings.
demoralised, sad, depressed could b the suitable words..
it really made me wonder if i really chose the correct path for my career...
this is a WAR which i hv to find ways to fight it thru n survive it..
i seemed to be losing my direction..
where's the source of light to continue guiding me??
perhaps itz time for some reflections.....
btw,
itz XBB's birthday today... happy birthday, xbb!!
flying towards my dreams
@ |4/04/2007 08:52:00 PM|
esp this week, i had 2 observations on the same day, fri, one CT observation n one SUP observation.
i was really damn nervous that day n i guess my nervousness was quite clearly written on my face so much so that my SUP actually realised it.
luckily for me, both observations went pretty well, n i received gd comments from my SUP too.. :)
after the observations were over, i was really feeling very relieved n happy..
relieved that they r over le, happy that baby is coming to pick me up from sch n we're gg to hv dinner together n watch TMNT!!! heh..
we went to JP again n had Fish & Co' for our dinner... n itz Seafood Platter for Two again... heh.. we juz love their seafood platter... :)
i feel so pampered with baby peeling those prawns for me..
i sux at peeling them out with fork n spoon, i work better with my bare hands... lolz
after a hearty dinner, we went to shop around for baby's mum's bday present.
baby said to get his mum a wallet since her wallet is quite worn out..
we looked ard different shops n settled for BONIA.
got auntie a limited edition BONIA wallet that has juz arrived.
looks really nice but i guess i still haven reach the tai-tai stage to carry a BONIA wallet around.. hehez...
then we headed for our movie..
i was nv a turtle fan n all i rmb of them was that they're wearing 4 different colours eyemasks.
but i knw that baby is very excited to catch the movie since they were his childhood heroes...
the movie was pretty exciting on the whole, n i finally know how come my bro was so obsessed with them during his growing up years... lolz...
baby was totally glued to the screen throughout the whole movie n i also enjoyed the movie.
after an enjoyable time spent together, itz time to head home and baby sent me home.
i was again reluctant to leave him but HEY!! we're meeting again tmr (sat) hehehz...
baded our gdbyes n soon after washing up n resting, i headed to dreamland n that sums up my fri...
i headed over to meet baby at his place on sat morning as we planned to go out n get some work done. i had to plan for nxt wk's lessons while baby has to prepare for his tests nxt wk.
after waking him up, we headed to amk hub to collect his GNC VIP card n then to SUBWAY for brunch...
the sevice at SUBWAY sux!!
black faced aunties n unready bread.. spoilt our mood for awhile lor..
then we headed to macs to do our work.
the service at macs wasnt any better too..!
slow n inefficient!!! so much for being a FAST FOOD restaurant!!! hmph~
we stayed there for a few hours b4 heading back to his place again coz i hv to give his cousins tuition.
we had dinner together n a lovely time.
baby sent me home ard 9pm together with his mum n bro as they were heading to changi airport to fetch his dad who has went to guangzhou for work.
i was glad to know that auntie loved the BONIA wallet... hehe..
now that itz SUNDAY again, it means i muz continue working on lesson plans for the next wk... sighz.. time to get my ass back to work...
til next time ppl... ciaoz!
btw, HAPPY APRILS' FOOL ppl!!! :D
flying towards my dreams
@ |4/01/2007 11:26:00 AM|